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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Father Sergius by Leo Tolstoy: 'I? I have lived a very nasty, horrible life, and now God is
punishing me as I deserve. I live so wretchedly, so wretchedly .
. .'
'How was it with your marriage? How did you live with your
husband?'
'It was all bad. I married because I fell in love in the
nastiest way. Papa did not approve. But I would not listen to
anything and just got married. Then instead of helping my
husband I tormented him by my jealousy, which I could not
restrain.'
'I heard that he drank . . .'
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