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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Father Sergius by Leo Tolstoy: in them but was seized by a remembrance of, and--terrible to
say--a regret for, the change of life he had made.
The only thing that saved him in that state of mind was obedience
and work, and the fact that the whole day was occupied by prayer.
He went through the usual forms of prayer, he bowed in prayer, he
even prayed more than usual, but it was lip-service only and his
soul was not in it. This condition would continue for a day, or
sometimes for two days, and would then pass of itself. But those
days were dreadful. Kasatsky felt that he was neither in his own
hands nor in God's, but was subject to something else. All he
could do then was to obey the starets, to restrain himself, to
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