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Today's Stichomancy for Jerry Seinfeld

The first excerpt represents the past or something you must release, and is drawn from The Augsburg Confession by Philip Melanchthon:

CORRECTED.

Inasmuch, then, as our churches dissent in no article of the faith from the Church Catholic, but only omit some abuses which are new, and which have been erroneously accepted by the corruption of the times, contrary to the intent of the Canons, we pray that Your Imperial Majesty would graciously hear both what has been changed, and what were the reasons why the people were not compelled to observe those abuses against their conscience. Nor should Your Imperial Majesty believe those who, in order to excite the hatred of men against our part, disseminate strange slanders among the people. Having

The second excerpt represents the present or the deciding factor of the moment, and is drawn from Tristram Shandy by Laurence Sterne:

I should fall in love--I blush'd when I saw how white a hand she had--I shall never, an' please your honour, behold another hand so white whilst I live--

--Not in that place, said my uncle Toby--

Though it was the most serious despair in nature to the corporal--he could not forbear smiling.

The young Beguine, continued the corporal, perceiving it was of great service to me--from rubbing for some time, with two fingers--proceeded to rub at length, with three--till by little and little she brought down the fourth, and then rubb'd with her whole hand: I will never say another word, an' please your honour, upon hands again--but it was softer than

The third excerpt represents the future or something you must embrace, and is drawn from King Lear by William Shakespeare:

[Regan plucks his beard.] Glou. By the kind gods, 'tis most ignobly done To pluck me by the beard. Reg. So white, and such a traitor! Glou. Naughty lady, These hairs which thou dost ravish from my chin Will quicken, and accuse thee. I am your host. With robber's hands my hospitable favours You should not ruffle thus. What will you do? Corn. Come, sir, what letters had you late from France? Reg. Be simple-answer'd, for we know the truth.


King Lear