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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy: be rooted out of my history. Self-renunciation--that's everything!
I cannot humiliate myself too much. I should like to prick myself all over
with pins and bleed out the badness that's in me!"
"Hush!" he said, pressing her little face against his breast as if she
were an infant. "It is bereavement that has brought you to this!
Such remorse is not for you, my sensitive plant, but for the wicked ones
of the earth--who never feel it!"
"I ought not to stay like this," she murmured, when she had remained
in the position a long while.
"Why not?"
"It is indulgence."
Jude the Obscure | 
