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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from The Kreutzer Sonata by Leo Tolstoy: being. I noticed it, and I could not help being anxious.
"Always, now, it happened that, in talking with me through a
third party (that is, in talking with others, but with the
intention that I should hear), she boldly expressed,--not
thinking that an hour before she had said the opposite,--half
joking, half seriously, this idea that maternal anxieties are a
delusion; that it is not worth while to sacrifice one's life to
children. When one is young, it is necessary to enjoy life. So
she occupied herself less with the children, not with the same
intensity as formerly, and paid more and more attention to
herself, to her face,--although she concealed it,--to her
 The Kreutzer Sonata |