| The first excerpt represents the past or something you must release, and is drawn from Desert Gold by Zane Grey: them were rams with great curved horns. They were looking in his
direction. Remembering what he had heard about the wonderful
eyesight of these mountain animals, Gale could only conclude that
they had seen the hunters.
Then Yaqui's movements attracted and interested him. The Indian
had brought with him a red scarf and a mesquite branch. He tied
the scarf to the stick, and propped this up in a crack of the lava.
The scarf waved in the wind. That done, the Indian bade Gale watch.
Once again he leveled the glass at the sheep. All five were
motionless, standing like statues, heads pointed across the gully.
They were more than a mile distant. When Gale looked without his
Desert Gold |
The second excerpt represents the present or the deciding factor of the moment, and is drawn from 1984 by George Orwell: Winston started to his feet. The shock of the sight had driven all
caution out of him. For the first time in many years he forgot the
presence of the telescreen.
'They've got you too!' he cried.
'They got me a long time ago,' said O'Brien with a mild, almost regretful
irony. He stepped aside. From behind him there emerged a broad-chested
guard with a long black truncheon in his hand.
'You know this, Winston,' said O'Brien. 'Don't deceive yourself. You did
know it--you have always known it.'
Yes, he saw now, he had always known it. But there was no time to think of
that. All he had eyes for was the truncheon in the guard's hand. It might
1984 |
The third excerpt represents the future or something you must embrace, and is drawn from Memories and Portraits by Robert Louis Stevenson: mark of excision in the passage as quoted by me. Well, here is how
it runs in the original: "a damsel, who, close behind a fine spring
about half-way down the descent, and which had once supplied the
castle with water, was engaged in bleaching linen." A man who gave
in such copy would be discharged from the staff of a daily paper.
Scott has forgotten to prepare the reader for the presence of the
"damsel"; he has forgotten to mention the spring and its relation
to the ruin; and now, face to face with his omission, instead of
trying back and starting fair, crams all this matter, tail
foremost, into a single shambling sentence. It is not merely bad
English, or bad style; it is abominably bad narrative besides.
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