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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from The American by Henry James: and the weight of his double sorrow was intolerable.
He sat with his eyes fixed upon his plate, counting the minutes,
wishing at one moment that Valentin would see him
and leave him free to go in quest of Madame de Cintre
and his lost happiness, and mentally calling himself a vile
brute the next, for the impatient egotism of the wish.
He was very poor company, himself, and even his acute
preoccupation and his general lack of the habit of pondering
the impression he produced did not prevent him from reflecting
that his companions must be puzzled to see how poor Bellegarde
came to take such a fancy to this taciturn Yankee that he must
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